is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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