i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
tell me about the eggs
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
