Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
