Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
