Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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