so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
