He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
