I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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