I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
