weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
