i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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