Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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