:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
