I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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