after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She bit a glass in half.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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