So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
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