so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
