i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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