And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
