walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
