I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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