i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
