We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
