Cold hands, warm shart.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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