I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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