she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
