Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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