Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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