Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
