And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
