scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
