oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
