Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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