I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
