i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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