I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
