he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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