Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
40s are totally the cure
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
