grandma shit on top of the toilet
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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