idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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