Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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