I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
