So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
