Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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