plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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