come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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