are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
