He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
