WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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