U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
