I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
