ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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