Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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