No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
