I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
