Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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