By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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