I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
