its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
