I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize