I love black thongs
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
someone owes me an orgasm
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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