Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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