He uses pillows to masturbate.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
