Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
