DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
