we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Randomize
