But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
