Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
