who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize