spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
