No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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