At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
