Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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